“Fine, do you really want to know?” I asked her. God, this is making me so agitated. Why did she want to know? What did it matter? I mean, it was after we broke up, so why should she care?

“Shhhh!” the nerd sitting at the table beside us said. I looked over at him the same time as Beth did. When she looked back at me, she nodded.

“None.” I said. It wasn’t exactly lying because no, I never had sexual intercourse with anyone. That’s not necessarily saying that I didn’t come close to doing it, I was only answering her question. Her eyes looked really surprised and I knew that she was probably expecting some huge three-digit number or something. But then her eyes softened and she smiled.

“Then why were you getting so embarrassed when I was asking you about it?” she asked. I knew that she was going to ask me that. I shrugged my shoulders.

“Because it’s a very personal topic to be talking about.” I said, shifting in my seat. I was extremely uncomfortable talking about it. Couldn’t we change the subject?

“So, never?” she asked, obviously still in awe that I never screwed anybody.

“Yes! Never! Don’t sound so surprised.” I muttered. She smiled warmly and put her hand over mine. I looked up into her eyes and smiled too.

“I’m glad.” She said.


“Because I heard so many different stories about it and I am just so happy to know that none of them are true.” Beth explained. “And I guess that you can say that I’m glad that you, this is going to sound really corny and weird, but, waited for me.”

Had I heard her correctly? Did she just say that? “Are you serious?”

“Eventually.” She said, smiling another one of her secretive sexy smiles that she only shows when she’s with me. A tingle raced through my entire body and even though we were in school, I wanted to kiss her. More than just a kiss, I wanted her, her entire body. Our fingers intertwined and she must have read my mind because she leaned over and kissed my lips.

I responded to her kiss and pulled her closer to me, scooting her chair closer to mine. She placed her hands on the sides of my face and my lips hungered to feel hers. It was so thrilling because we were making out in the library, almost guaranteeing getting caught. I loved this little spurt of suddenness and to be quite frank, it excited me greatly.

She leaned over on me more, and the weight from both of us on one chair alone was too much and I could feel the chair tilt back. I didn’t want to stop because I was enjoying it so much. The chair tipped back further and further and before I could stop it, it fell all the way over, making a loud crashing sound and damn, it broke our kiss.

* * * * *

I kissed him so hard that it even surprised me. I didn’t know why I was doing this when we were in the school library, so easily to be caught. The chair was falling and it all happened so fast, that I didn’t have time to react to it and we both fell with the chair. It made a very loud thunder-like sound and I breathed out harshly with the impact of the fall. I opened my eyes to look at Taylor. He smiled and so did I. I studdered a small laugh and got up, lending my hand to help him up.

Taylor took my hand and I pulled him up. We both looked over at the boy at the table beside ours and his eyes were wide with astonishment. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. How klutzy could I be? I felt so stupid! Then the librarian came rushing to the back to see what had happened.

“What in the world happened back here?” she demanded.

“Uh, I was rocking in the chair and it fell back.” Taylor said. She eyed him suspiciously, then nodded and returned to the front desk. We both looked at each other and exploded in laughter.


I guess that you could say that the day significantly changed after the library episode. I didn’t get to explain anything to Alicia. I normally would have told her everything in lunch, but Taylor sat with me today, and I didn’t want to tell her in front on him. She was going to flip out on me tonight on the phone. I felt really bad for leaving her in the clouds like I was, but I never got the chance to talk to her.

Last bell rang and, thank god, the day was finally over. I pulled my bookbag onto my shoulders, and was just about to leave for my bus when I felt him take my hand in his. I turned my head over to face Taylor and smiled. He smiled back.

“Come home with me.” He said.

“I dunno…my parents might get worried if I don’t get off the bus.” I said.

“Call them as soon as you get to my house. Come on…” he insisted. I sighed and finally let in. He pulled my hand in the direction of his bus stop.

“So, what are we going to do once we get to your house?” I inquired as we waited for the bus to come. He smiled a sly little smile and said nothing in response to my question. I knew that look of his; he had it when we were younger. He only made that look when he knew that there was an obvious answer to a question, but he was too embarrassed to come out with a direct answer. When we were kids, this annoyed me greatly, but for some odd reason, now it was actually thrilling and it made a prickle race through my body when he gave me that look.

The bus came, and we stepped onto it, and we took the back seat. I was surprised that no one kicked us out of it because on my bus, only the seniors were allowed to sit in the very back of the bus. We had some privacy in the back seat, but I didn’t want to kiss him while we were on the bus. Isaac was sitting a few seats ahead of us, and as I looked at the back of his head, I felt another shiver go across my back.

I had kissed him today. It wasn’t anything serious, it was just a little kiss on the cheek, but why was I getting so worked up about it if it wasn’t serious? This is getting way too confusing. I shouldn’t have kissed him. But ooh, I really liked kissing him. Even though it wasn’t anything exciting, I still felt somewhat excited when I thought about it. Bad me, I scolded myself.

* * * * *

I saw her get off of the bus and I was really surprised. I didn’t see her on it. She was holding onto Taylor’s hand ever so tightly, and they looked really good together. I didn’t want to admit it, but it was the truth … they looked great with each other.

“So, did you come over to help Tay study for that huge history test that he has been complaining about for the past week?” I asked her, hoping that was the reason that she came over. The look on both of their faces seemed to say, ‘…um, no’.

“Not exactly.” Taylor said, then looked over at her, letting his eyes wander over her body. He smiled, then looked at me. I shifted my eyes away from Beth, because I found myself to be doing the same thing and I did not want Taylor to see me checking out his girlfriend. He’d kill me. “Well, now that you mention it, I do need some tutoring.” Taylor added.

“Really? In what?” Beth asked him, looking concerned. Tay smiled.

“In French.” He replied, causing Beth to smile with him. God, she smiled such a sexy smile just then. He pulled on her hand, towards the house. “Come on … oh Ike, don’t bother us … we’ll be studying.”

I nodded, knowing exactly what he meant by ‘studying’. We went through basically the same conversation every other time he brought one of his “girlfriends” home on the bus with him. But I had a feeling that this was going to be different. He hadn’t really cared for those other girls, but he truly did have feelings for Beth, so I knew that he wasn’t going to try something this early in their renewed relationship … or would he?

My thoughts pondered as I watched them closely walk into the house and kiss each other just as the door shut. I turned my head and look the other way. Beth, I know that you like Taylor, but don’t you understand that he betrayed you so long ago? Aren’t you supposed to still be mad about that?

I really was hoping that she wouldn’t have gotten back together with him. As mean as it may sound, I was hoping that I would have been able to sway her instead of Taylor, but it was just about impossible. Why would someone like Beth like me instead of Taylor?

My mind wondered back to this morning and when we were in the library. It seemed like she needed me so badly. She needed someone to talk to, and I talked to her. Didn’t that count for something? A pit formed in my stomach. What if she only talked to me because she knew that she could get the honest answers from me? Maybe she was just being a friend when she was asking me those questions. And maybe that kiss was just a friendly kiss on the cheek and intended as nothing more.

Chapter 11
Chapter 13