I never told anyone about what happened. I had no need to. It didn’t matter to me if others knew, and so what if they did?
Time slipped by and things between us grew to be almost nonexistent. Sure, we would talk on the phone everyday and we would see each other occasionally, but with ballet becoming more and more a part of her life, it was tough for me to find time in her life. It got to the point where I couldn’t remember the last time I kissed her, or was able to hold her in my arms.
“Beth, I miss you.” I told her one night on the phone. It was already close to midnight and I didn’t want to keep her on much longer because she had to get up early in the morning. Well, so did I because I had to go to school, but she got up an hour earlier to do some ballet before school. Luckily for her the studio is close to school.
“I miss you, too.” She said, however I didn’t think that she quite caught on to what I was saying.
“When are we going to see each other? I miss getting to see you.” I whined. I knew that I was being a little selfish, but I kind of had a right. I mean, I AM her boyfriend.
“Tay, I see you everyday at school.” Beth replied.
“But that’s not the same. I want you to come over to my house tomorrow after school. Please?” I pretty much begged. I wanted to get to spend some time alone with her. It’s been the longest time since we have been alone.
“You know I can’t. I have class right after school. But it’s only 2 hours tonight. I might be able to stop by after it’s over, is that okay?” she suggested. I felt my heart flutter just thinking about getting to kiss her.
“You know that it’s more than okay.” I told her. “Hey, I’ll just come pick you up.”
“Sounds good, but my mom is going to watch this practice. Maybe tomorrow?”
“Alright.” I agreed. “I can’t wait til tomorrow night then. I really want to see you.”
“Geeze, you’re acting as though I’ve been gone for 3 years or something, I don’t understand, Tay.” Beth said. Wait, she wasn’t excited about getting to be alone with me??
“But aren’t you anticipating on getting to be alone? I don’t even remember the last time we were completely alone, let alone the last time we’ve kissed. I’ve missed you so much, and I’ve missed you a lot in that way, too.”
“We’re not going to have sex.” She came out of nowhere and said.
“Wha? Where did that come from?” I asked. She sounded so disgusted when she said that.
“I thought it over and I don’t want to do it anymore. There’s too much to risk. I can’t ruin my dancing career over something as silly as sex.”
I know that my jaw dropped. “When did you decide this?”
“Tay, I don’t want you to get mad over it-”
“I think that it may already be a little too late for that. It’s been over a month since the last time, and before that, we were getting together at a pretty good pace.”
“I just want you to know that it wasn’t my decision.” She said quickly.
“My mother found out. She wasn’t mad, she just threatened that if she found out it happened again, then I would never be allowed to see you again. Believe me, it’s not my decision, you know that I loved it, but I can’t risk her taking you away from me.”
I smiled at her words. She was being sweet now, or was she just making up for taking sex away from me? I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t question it. “Well, I wasn’t really planning on having sex anyway.”
“Then why did you want to be alone with me?”
Okay, this made me mad. “Because I enjoy your company?” I said with some attitude.
“Okay okay, no need to get mad. It just sounded like more than that or something.” She said. I still couldn’t believe that she automatically assumed that I wanted to sleep with her just because I wanted to be alone with her. I thought that we had more substance to our relationship than that.
“I’m not mad.” I said.
“So, are you getting excited yet?” I asked, kidding.
She laughed. “Yeah, I am. What are we going to do?”
“I dunno yet. Just hang out. Listen to music, watch a movie, I don’t know yet. Let me sleep on it.” I said.
“Okay, and I better get going anyway because I have to get up in about 5 hours for dancing. Love you, Tay.” She said.
“I love you, too.” I said and then we both hung up. Yes, I couldn’t wait to see her tomorrow!!