I hung up the phone. I took in a deep sigh and let it out slowly. I hadn't realized that Taylor was feeling so insecure about the whole 'sex' thing. I figured that he knew that I loved him, and that I loved it as well, but now just is not the right time in my life to be doing those kinds of things. Too many problems are at stake and I just cannot risk it; I can't risk anything.
The mire thought of becoming pregnant scares me. I guess that it could scare anyone, but it especially scares me because I'm a ballet dancer. That could end my potential career easier than breaking my ankle would. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Actually, I do miss him. Seeing him and getting to spend time with him always makes me feel like such an important person, and lately, I guess that I have been neglecting him. And the fact that he's sticking my by side makes me incredibly happy because I know that he really does care about me. I smiled and I know that I fell asleep smiling.
In the morning, I walked into school towards my locker. For some odd reason, people were staring at me. I quickly looked at my butt to make sure that nothing was there, or anything embarrassing like that. Nope, everything looked okay. Why are all of these people looking at me? As I neared my locker, I saw a sight that I never want to see again. A sight that changed my life once before, and something that would change it all over again.
There she was, Jenn Limway, standing right in front of my locker, hanging on him. Didnít she think that she already did enough damage 3 years ago when she kissed Taylor?? Now she thinks that she can just barge into our relationship, again, and ruin it?! The part that really made me mad is that Taylor wasn't walking away from it! He was taking all of it in!
I brushed past both of them to get to my locker. I shot a look of hate in Jenn's direction, and then let my eyes wander over Taylor's face, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Finally, I couldnít take it anymore. I turned around.
"Jenn?" I asked politely, trying to get her attention. She looked annoyed that I had interrupted her babble fest with my boyfriend.
"Yeah?" she asked.
"Are you deliberately trying to ruin my life, or is it just a coincidence this time?" I asked her. Taylor's eyes got huge. She seemed taken aback at my words.
"Excuse me?" she asked.
I only rolled my eyes at her, and then reached up to put my arms around Taylor's shoulders, and I lightly kissed his lips. Then I slipped my hand in his and we walked down the hallway. I didnít look back to see the reaction on her face, though I bet that it would've been classic. When we were out of an earshot, I let go of his hand and turned angrily towards him.
"What the hell was that?!" I exploded.
"I have no idea." Taylor replied.
"No, you tell me right now!"
"Look Beth, I honestly do not know what was going through Jenn's head. I was waiting for you at your locker and then from out of nowhere, I feel this hand run up the length of my back. I assumed it was you, but it turned out to be her. I have no idea what she wanted, she was talking about some new guy she was going out with." Taylor said. I looked at him with suspicious eyes. Then my mind did a flashback to last night on the phone when he was begging to be able to spend time with me. I believed him.
"Well, doesnít she know that we're together?"
"I guess not."
"Then where has she been for the past 17 thousand years??" I joked, making Taylor smile. Oh how I loved it when he smiled. Then, for some weird reason, I got the strangest feeling. I want him, like right now. I looked deep into his eyes and I know that he picked up my look. He smiled widely, but then he frowned.
"Beth, oh I hate you so much right now." He told me. Of course I knew that he was kidding, but to a certain extent, I hated myself, too. Why do I have to want him now?? We're at school, for crying out loud! I tugged on his hand. I knew that the girls' locker room was always vacant in the mornings. There was never anyone in that end of the wing. "Where are we-- "
"Shh." I quieted him. I continued to lead him in the direction of the locker room until he got the idea. Then he stopped resisting my pulling on his arm, and he quickened his pace, as did I. We finally broke out in a full run and reached the locker room with 10 minutes before the bell to homeroom would ring.
I did a quick check to make sure that it was empty. After we were inside, I closed and locked one of the doors while Taylor locked the other to ensure our privacy. I threw my book bag to the ground and accosted him. He acted as though he was trying to defend himself, but I knew that he was only playing. And besides, he's a terrible actor. I pushed myself against him and we kissed so heavily. I knew that this was such a spontaneous thing to do, but hey, you only live once, right??
We made our way to a bench that was situated among the middle of a row of lockers. We laid down, me being on the bottom, and we continued kissing each other provocatively. I balanced myself by letting my legs swing to the floor. Taylor kissed my lips, my chin, my neck, and as far down on my chest as he could without removing my shirt. I reached down and unbuttoned his jeans, unzipping them as well. I didnít even think twice as to what was about happen. We were so far into it that there was no earthly way that I would be able to stand an interruption or stopping.
However, Taylor was the one that stopped ...
This was so insane. We already almost got caught once kissing at school in the library, and now, here we are in the girls' locker room, making out severely. I couldnít believe it. And I thought that she was pissed about the whole Jenn thing. I honestly didnít know what possessed her to talk to me. I only talk to her when I have to, like if she approaches me first. I donít consider her my friend, nor do I want to be her friend. So confusing.
What's even more confusing is that last night, Beth was giving me shit about wanting to have sex, and she was all for not doing it anymore. Well, what the heck is going on here?? I kissed her mouth, her neck, which I know she loves, and I kissed her chest. I felt her hands going down for the zipper on my Tommy's and I knew that I had to take control of this situation before it got too far.
I pulled my head up to look into her eyes. They were closed until I stopped kissing her. Then she opened them and she looked mighty confused.
"Taylor, what's wrong?" she spoke first.
"This is wrong." I said, referring to the entire episode.
"What's wrong about it?" she asked. I shrugged my shoulders. "I donít think that there are any rules in the student handbook prohibiting sex in the girls' locker room, is there?"
I managed to chuckle. "No, I donít think so either, but hun, it's basically implied that this shouldnít be happening in school."
"School hasn't started yet." She pointed out. Then she craned her neck to peer at the clock. "We still have 5 minutes, 9 if you include the 'hall time' before the late bell rings."
"But I donít have anything." I confessed. I had no need to carry around any covers in my wallet. She shrugged.
"I'm on the pill."
Hmm, she had an answer for everything, and here I am, wasting precious time.
"Donít you want to do this?" she asked, even though I had been hoping she wouldnít. I nodded my head. It wasnít a complete lie. Oh, I wanted to so much, but I didnít want to at the same time. But how could I turn her down. An opportunity like this does not present itself very often.
"No, I do, but I just uh, wanted to tell you that I didnít have anything. I donít want anything to happen that we donít want to happen, if you know what I mean." I said, trying to play the whole thing off.
"It's okay. I'm glad that you were concerned. However, I'm not really worried about that. I'm on the pill, which will prevent anything from happening. But my main concern is getting to finish this. Four minutes and counting..."
And with that, I kissed her again. She reached her hand down inside my pants and I knew that it would not take me very long to get ready for this.
Luckily for the both of us, she was wearing a skirt, without pantyhose, and so it was pretty easy riding from here on out. I could feel myself starting to reach the pinnacle, however I knew that she wasn't there yet. I held out as long as I possibly could before I let go. The bell rang, signaling the start of homeroom. It was quite distracting, but not too much. After it happened, I knew that she came, too. Very wonderful it was.
We very quickly composed ourselves, unlocked the doors and hurried in the direction of our homeroom. As we were walking down the hallway, she kept on giving me these incredible looks and smiles. Before we went inside the classroom, she pressed herself against me and kissed me seductively. She ended it pretty roughly, leaving me hanging there, wanting more. She didnít wait for me to open the door for her; she went inside before me and took her usual seat next to her friend Alicia. I went over to the guys. And I knew they could tell from the look on my face that I got lucky. But, I'm sure they didnít know exactly when it happened.